There is no end to human ingenuity. Our brains instinctually find ways to solve problems. For example, during the Paleolithic period (roughly 2.5 million years ago to 10,000 B.C.E.), cavemen lived with painful blisters on their feet. Then one day, a regular Barney Rubble-type guy invented the shoe. Later, when the most stylish cave person couldn’t stand to wear ugly shoes for another day, he designed the first loafer (not really).
That ingenious problem-solving continues in the 21st century. Between social media, surveillance cameras, proctologists and naked yoga, privacy — like the remote — is hard to find. And don’t bother looking for either in the bathroom. For this is the kingdom of bodily functions, where privacy, along with dignity, have no power.
Our Bodies Make Awful Sounds
And gastrointestinal sounds, no matter how heavy the door or wide the moat, will not be silenced. In other words, our bodies function — oftentimes loudly. And where we’re pooping, we’re also farting.
Even though farting and pooping is natural, they can be humiliating in the wrong settings (um, anywhere in public). We can’t choose when and where the need will arise, and we definitely can’t choose, well, how loud they will be. But what if we could drown out those sounds in the bathroom?
That brings us to the Faux Fan, a small device that can make more noise than our worst bodily functions can. It’s the brainchild of a small family-owned company with a passion for privacy.
The Faux Fan is a small metal speaker that’s about the size of a deck of cards. It has four different sound settings, each similar to white, pink or brown noise, with or without new-age sounding “melodies” mixed in. Its purpose is to be a portable noise canceling machine you can carry with you to hide the “sounds” that happen in the bathroom — no matter where you have to go.
Original publication 22 April, 2021
Posted on NatCorn 24th May 2021
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