So, I ran a naked 5K. Which, in and of itself, was an education. But after said 3.2-mile flop-fest, the good people of the Caliente Resort in Land O’ Lakes, Florida (one of the greatest clothing-optional resorts in America) opened up their doors to me for an entire day. And, never having spent a full day wearing nothing but sunscreen, I thought it would be an interesting little trip outside of my comfort zone. It did not disappoint, and here are a dozen things I learned in my afternoon by the pool at a nudist resort.
Pubic hair is out
Not just on women, on men, too. Since every guy on the planet makes a point to look anywhere BUT down in a locker room, I wasn’t aware that we men are also now going totally bare. Around the pool at Caliente, rarely was any dude rocking much more than a soul patch. This may only be true of nudists, but it was still alarming to see so many men completely shaved like the women.
Scrotum piercings, however, TOTALLY IN
I’m not even sure how these things are possible without trauma-center levels of blood loss, but I saw more dudes with rings, bars, and studs through their sacks than I saw men with clothes on. Every single one induced a wince of “Oh-God-that-must-have-hurt” discomfort. But nobody topped the guy with about 15 rings around his penis, who I can only assume thought it had the same effect that African tribeswomen achieve with neck rings. I didn’t ask him if it was true.
Original publication 20 May, 2016
Posted on NatCorn 19th February 2021
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